Friday, March 19, 2010
As I was going through my morning routine, there were several revelations that occurred to me. First, I realized that I hadn’t blogged in a long time and the year was getting away from me. It isn’t that life has been uneventful; on the contrary, life has been rich. There hasn’t been any real change since the last time I wrote to you. However, this morning was different.
I finally realized the answer to a question that has been bothering me since I graduated and started my practice. Why are all the patients going to the guys that went to school before I was born? I am at the top of my class, don’t they know that!
When you graduate with a doctorate in your field, at the top of your class, from one of the best schools, you are more than well prepared to practice at the highest level. I was 25 but I looked 19. I think I started to shave at the age of 22 so that gives you an idea how young I looked. I was close to 250,000 dollars in debt with school loans and equipment cost. My first office was 800 sq ft with one chair and a fish tank that I maintained. I think I had 4 patients my first week of business and two of those were my parents. There was no way I could buy a practice full of patients so I just did it the old fashion way and hung out a shingle.
Way in debt with an overhead and a baby girl there was no time to not be making money. I did side jobs to pay the rent and answered my own phone. There was urgency with every call and walk-in patient. These things were not taught to me in school. Some patients would walkout saying, “You are too young to be a doctor.” I couldn’t believe that all the patients out there were going to these doctors that hadn’t opened a text book in thirty years and I was starving.
This morning I realized that really only one thing has changed in thirty years of practice. Sure, there are new materials and techniques but the application is still the same. People and their problems haven’t changed. Really the only thing that’s different is me. I have evolved into the very guy that was the enigma and subject of that age old question. I know now why people gravitate to the doctor that has been treating patients in the same place for a long time. It is not necessarily because they are so much better at what they do. It is because they feel the heart of the doctor.
I am so grateful everyday that I get to wake up early and get ready to see my first patient. Not because I am starving, but because of the opportunity to help someone with their problems in a way that only I can help. I am starting to work on the fourth generation in some families. As a doctor you share the joys and the burdens of life with your patients. You take ownership in the children’s children. You share the tears of disappointment as well as those in celebration. The heart of a doctor matures with each year that you make it because your patients love and support you. This level of maturity generates a level of responsibility for each person you treat that is beyond description.
You figure out how to fix the problem in hard times so that when things get better you can do it right. You genuinely look forward to seeing your ‘friends’ on a daily basis and spend time catching up from their last visit. I find myself excited about my continuing education classes because it will make me better at what I do. That sense of urgency of the 25 year old doctor is still there but different. Now, that feeling is the joy of being able to work for my patients. There is an urgent desire to always do the right thing. The work must be perfect or you just do it over and make it right. Not because someone is watching but because this is your patient, your friend. You love them and you love what you do. That just takes time.
I thank God for this morning’s understanding of the doctors’ heart. I am a lucky man for many reasons. One of which is the fact that I have had the privilege and opportunity to make a living doing what I love. I don’t know many people that can say that. Thank you for giving me these years. I promise to keep getting better and appreciate every year that I am able to serve you. I finally genuinely have a doctor’s heart.